Why is it so Hard to Make Friends

Am I the only one who finds it hard to make friends as an adult?  If women are the more talkative, cerebral types, why does it seem so hard for us to make friends in adulthood?  Is it fear of rejection?  Possible negative judgement?  How do you even go about cultivating a friendship?

I have no flippin' idea.

So, I'm sitting here watching the Sex & the City Movie.  (It's on basic cable so you know all the fun parts have been edited out!) Anyway... I look at the friendships of those women & wonder if that type of closeness actually exists.  I don't have any examples of that in my life & I wonder why that is...

Have I isolated myself against the outside world so much so in favor of my family that I've forgotten how to make a new & perhaps ever lasting friendship?

I have maybe one close friend.  She saw me at my darkest times & helped me celebrate my best times.  I can call or text her out of the blue and it's like we talk everyday.  But she's the only one.

Do I feel subconsciously that I don't have time for shallow friendships so I figure, why bother?  But then how can the friendship evolve into anything deeper if I don't put myself out there?

If anyone has any suggestions... I'm open to whatever you got!

When Did Everyone Get So Stinking Negative?

You know the old saying, "misery loves company" right?  Well, it's true!  I look around on the handful of social media sites I visit & see so many posts, comments and all around view of the world as negative.  It's tiresome!  While most people look at others with a pessimistic outlook as "realists" I look at them and wonder if they didn't get hugged enough as a child!  Haha.

Seriously... what gives?  I feel a lot of people think it's easy peasy to go through the day with a smile plastered on their face.  It's not.  It's so easy to get bogged down by other's bad moods.  Get sucked in to the whole "it's not my fault... the world owes me" bit.  Well, guess what?  You reap what you sow & if you're throwing out negative vibes into the universe, that's all you're going to get back.

A while back I purchased the book, Best You Ever 365 Ways to be Richer, Happier, Thinner, Smarter, Younger, Sexier and More Relaxed - Each and Every Day.  This book is filled with daily tips designed to be easily understood.  Each day focuses on a different element of your life where you may find you need improvement upon and includes guidance to help you achieve that goal or at least make strides closer to it. 

The days are broken down like so:

Monday = Be Richer
Tuesday = Be Happier
Wednesday = Be Thinner
Thursday = Be Smarter
Friday = Be Younger
Saturday = Be Sexier
Sunday = Be More Relaxed

Each day has a corresponding quote and begins by presenting ideas to adjust your mindset in order to fulfill that day's step.   Since today is Tuesday, today's tip focuses on being happier.  Today we will work toward kicking "the negativity habit".  Hence my rant above!

Per the book's suggestions, let's try to quiet the negative voices in our head.  Who owns those voices anyway?  When the voice is not your own, tell it to shut the heck up!  Do you purposely hang around people you do not like?  Do you let those same people glom on to you throughout the day?  I sure hope not!  That being said... don't let their negative voice cloud your mind and drown out the positive happening around you.  You don't need it!

Accomplishing this will lead you to a calmer, happier, more peaceful state of mind.  It won't be easy.  Nothing worth doing ever is!  It will take time.

You are WORTH IT!

Baby on Board

What has prompted pregnant moms all over the land to start baring their bellies and writing "Baby" on themselves with an arrow pointing toward their belly buttons?  Used to be we would see obviously pregnant ladies with obvious statements on their maternity shirts stating the same.  Or sometimes, it would be something equally obvious, yet a little more clever.  Along the lines of, "under construction" or "no peeking".

While those shirts used to make me roll my eyes like hormone fueled teen, I've come to shake my head even more at the bare bellied women, men & sometimes children announcing the obvious.

First it was just the ladies.  Showing off perfect bellies, stretched bellies, even not so pretty bellies, all to announce they had a little bundle on the way.  When you wait until you are 8 or 9 months, don't you think we all know what's going on down there?  Do you think we believe you are full of pizza or burgers?

Next came the dads.  I want to know who's bright idea it was to include the men on the action.  Now we have the ladies with their very pregnant bare bellies accompanied by their baby's daddy's bare belly.  And apparently, all baby daddies are full of beer.  Oh yea. 

Finally, today, I came across the straw that broke my camel's back.  The photo of a faceless, very pregnant mommy's bare belly labeled "baby" on the left with faceless very hairy daddy's bare belly labeled "beer" on the right and sandwiched in between, big sister's bare belly labeled "apple juice".

Do you really think this is cute?
source: fb friend mobile upload

That, to me, is just taking it all a little too public.  I'm not asking that we cover up a la Puritan style, but, please... I'm begging.  Can't we just have a little more modesty anymore?  Leave a little to the imagination?

tasteful
source: google.images

sexy
source: mypinkcloud.tumblr.com

Don't misunderstand me.  I love the artistic black and white photos of bare bellies.  Silhouettes, henna bellies.  There's just something that screams tacky when you take, in my mind, a sharpie marker to your body to announce the obvious.


Do you like those types of announcements?  The handwritten sharpie one? 

Am I the only one that doesn't?  I hope not.

Look Twice Motorcycles Are Everywhere...

Living in the Sunshine State I would expect to see a higher than average amount of motorcycles year round. 

Check out the following stats from http://www.ridesmartflorida.com/dataandstatistics.htm

Residence

• Florida is a popular tourist destination and host to a number of motorcycle enthusiast events.
• 94 percent of motorcyclists fatally injured in Florida were also Florida residents (2009).

Location

• Miami-Dade, Hillsborough, Orange, Pinellas, Broward, Volusia, Palm Beach, Duval, Lee and Brevard counties accounted for the largest number of motorcycle fatalities respectively in 2009.
• Factors such as population and proximity to motorcycle rallies play a role in determining the number of motorcycle crashes and fatalities.

Registrations and Endorsements

• In 2008, registered motorcycles accounted for just over 4% of Florida's motoring public.
• In 2009, licensed motorcyclists accounted for just over 6% of Florida’s motoring public. Yet in 2009, motorcyclists and their passengers represented 15.7% of all fatalities on Florida’s roadways.

What do you surmise from this data?  Honestly, I thought the registered motorcycle percentage would be higher.  Or maybe I'm more aware because I live in one of the locations listed as having a large number of motorcycle fatalities.  I have many friends and family who ride motorcycles and respect the laws of the road.  I often am reminded from them and from the multitude of bumper stickers to "Look twice!  Save a life!  Motorcycles are Everywhere!"

Here's the thing... I have a hard time respecting the motorcycling community when there are so many jerk-wad riders out there!  Just the other day, I'm doing my thing, maintaining my speed, keeping with the flow of traffic, blah blah blah... there isn't much time to gain when we're in the part of town where there are stop lights at every intersection, ya know?  Anyway, here sits dude weaving through traffic, wedging himself between cars who are already in the process of braking for the next light, causing the guy in the back of the motorcycle sandwich to slam on his brakes causing a chain reaction to everyone behind him!

I know what you're thinking... it was some stupid young guy, zooming on his rice rocket, right? 


photo courtesy: break.com

WRONG!  It was overweight, Grateful Dead looking dude with the waist long ponytail, riding either his Harley Electra Glide or Honda Goldwing equivalent.  Aye!


photo courtesy: explow.com

It's so frustrating to be petitioned on a regular basis to look out for motorcycles when I don't feel like they are looking out for cars and trucks!

So, I'm pleading with all the motorcycles riders out there to watch out for the cars out there too!  I am under the impression that a motorcycle is more maneuverable when in motion than a car.  I understand if you're sitting on your bike stopped somewhere and someone decides to back up all of a sudden and doesn't see you, you're screwed.  But isn't it your responsibility as a motorcycle rider to make sure you don't sit in a driver's blind spot?  Doesn't the tractor-trailer adage "if you can't see my mirrors, I can't see you" apply?

In a nutshell, I would like to ask all the motorcycle riders out there to not absolve themselves of their personal responsibility for proper driving protocol and I will continue to look twice to save a life!

Color Me Fifty Shades of Disappointed

I usually don't get sucked into media hype of anything.  Not movies, TV, books or the like... until The Hunger Games movie trailer came out.  Oh man!  I bought into it BIG TIME!  So I quickly bought the trilogy for my Kindle and got to reading.  I poured through all three books in record time.  I kept wanting to see what developed next.  I loved, loved, LOVED the books!  So, before I go any further on this, let me say that the movie, compared to the book, was a HUGE let down. I know typically movies can't hold a candle to an original book, but even the Harry Potter movies kept to the original story more so than the Hunger Games did.

Anyway, back to my point (I do have one, I swear!)  I usually don't buy into the hype, right?  So here comes all the talk about the Fifty Shades of Grey book by E.L. James.  I'm not doing it... not not NOT!  OK, I couldn't take it anymore.  On all the morning programs they were harping on this book's ability to recharge a marriage, that it is being called "mommy porn", celebrities are embarrassed to admit they are reading it, etc..

OK, fine... I bought it.  I couldn't wait to see what all the hype was about. The premise of the story is good.  However, the writing style left a little to be desired (no pun intended).  For someone who is to be a college graduate, the internal dialogue of Miss Steele was extremely immature.  I had a hard enough time wrapping my head around a 26 year old virgin, but when you read her repeated exclamations of "holy cow!" "holy f*ck!"  "holy crap!" & "jeez!" it gets old real quick.  Not to mention Ms. James' limited vocabulary.  When she used a new word to describe a particular situation, she continued to use that same strange word too many times within the next few paragraphs.  I mean how many times can you used the work "besieged" in one paragraph?  That answer is twice, in consecutive sentences!

I understand why everyone is in an uproar over the topic of this novel.  But to be honest, I kept reading waiting to read about some brutal act that was going to happen.  For all the toys in Mr. Grey's Playroom, he sure didn't use many of them! 

Here's my take on the book, for what it's worth... I believe the ladies are in love with this book and/or series based off the initial idea of being pursued by a strong, confidant man.  Wanting to believe that someone could want you so bad that it sends shivers down your spine and butterflies in your stomach is the ultimate idea of a woman being swept off her feet.  The preverbial Knight in Shining Armor!  Most women can't imagine being chased by a man who is that confident, knows what he wants, and isn't afraid to do whatever it takes to get it.  Being pursued, being the complete object of some one's desires is a powerful thing.  Something I wish Ana would've been more accepting of, instead of second guessing every off hand remark or peculiar look made by Mr. Grey.  Being adventurous in the bedroom is integral to fanning the flames so the marriage or relationship doesn't burn out.  Remembering what attracted you to each other in the first place is important!

I'm sure the movie will be an even bigger success than the books (for all those people with no time to read will surely want to see what the big idea is!).  Maybe this time the movie will surpass the book.  I am glad I only purchased the first book of this trilogy.  I won't purchase the others and I doubt I'll see the movie (until it's out on cable, of course!)

My review of this book:  Vanilla

It's All Fun and Games...

"It's all fun and games, 'til someone has a child." ~ Miranda Hobbs, SATC


I have three kids.  Three GIRLS.  I love them with all my heart, but sometimes... yes, I'll admit it, I'm envious of the childless.  Single or coupled, having no one to monitor 24/7 must be such a relief.  But then, if those childless people have never had kids, do they realize how lucky they are to have only themselves or their significant others to answer to?  I'm not so sure.

I know it's crazy talk to admit your kids drive you nuts from time to time.  Seriously, tho... what parent doesn't secretly relish their "alone time", "grown up time", "mommy & daddy time"?  With the most supportive husband in the world, I look forward to when he gets home from work every day, because I know kid time is over and grown up time is about to begin!  Yay!

We can just be hanging out and watching the DVR, playing games or whatever.  It's the best bonding after a long day at work (for him) and a long day of household and child responsibilities (me).  I can feel completely drained at the end of the day, even if I don't have much to show for it!  lol  I will tell you, after having a nice night with my husband I am renewed to face a new day with my ladies.

So tell me, does anyone else out there feel the same way?  I can't be the only one (I hope!).

-A